I never thought I would be so attached to a city in Guanzhong. From 2010 to the present, I have visited countless times. From the initial unfamiliar place of life to the later walking around the streets, I think it's not just because of the scenery.

The first year I went to Xi'an and took a quick glance. At that time, my memories were full of the depth and inconceivable history. It turns out that the taste of mutton steamed buns is like that, the terracotta warriors are so spectacular, the Lishan Beacon Tower is so far away, the pool water can really freeze, and the snow in Guanzhong in winter is really as big as goose feather. The bell tower at that time was a beautiful scenery in my eyes, lighting up my eyes at night.

I went to Xi'an the next year. I went to Qianling alone and went to the underground palace, but was almost left in a different place by the wind and snow. For the first time, I felt the winter wind and snow so cold that I could hardly move. Facing the wind and snow, I went to the Ruins Park of Afang Palace. It was very empty. Sitting on the sightseeing bus, I felt the prosperous times of the Tang Dynasty. I know that Afang Palace began when Qin Shihuang was burned. I still remember that it was a lingering love story. When snowflakes dyed my hair white, when the wind blew across my cheeks, the clarity and thickness of history hit at the same time, I seemed to understand that this was the taste of Xi'an.

I went to see the wordless monument. When I was a child, Pan Yingzi played "The Queen of the Generation" was my first impression of Wu Zetian. I especially like reading stories about her. As a woman, she cannot stick to the ordinary, nor can she be immersed in emotions. She seems to understand all this better than us. As the saying goes,"For twenty years, I have been wandering the world, and the deep palace has been blurred and allowed to be added, and both sides have been evaluated in the world. Wu Zetian, the hero among women." I walked on the stone steps leading to the top of the mountain. There were scattered snowflakes in the sky. The scene of the Martial Emperor living back then appeared in my mind. Perhaps it was more glorious than today, but the road she had traveled must be more difficult. That night, when I was about to return to Xi'an, I suddenly encountered wind and snow and couldn't get on the bus for the return trip. Later, I finally had to build a small car before returning to the city of Xi'an. The journey was difficult and dangerous, and I worried all the way. The moment I saw the bell tower, my heart came back.

If I didn't have much feelings when I went to Xi'an for the first time, then the second time was the prelude to the story. It was just that at that time I didn't know that I would have many interactions with this city in the future, and I would even fall in love with this city.

In 2021, although there was an epidemic, it started my exploration journey in Xi'an. The effectiveness of the Big Wild Goose Pagoda, the exquisiteness of the Small Wild Goose Pagoda, the fireworks of the Huimin Street, the prosperity and thickness of Chang 'an Street, there are too many, and the cultural relics of Shaanxi Libo have left a deep impression on me.

Standing under the Big Wild Goose Pagoda, there is only one question in my mind. How far is the ideal of reality? Can a person travel thousands of miles across mountains and rivers to seek a true meaning? I think maybe this is what persistence looks like. Regarding Xuanzang, more images come from the Tang Priest of Journey to the West. His master was captured by a demon. This is the most memory. However, after listening to Xuanzang's story, I realized that the Journey to the West is just a myth and the Tang Priest was not so fragile. He traveled through thousands of mountains and rivers of the motherland, experienced all things and common things in the world, obtained the true scriptures, and has since achieved complete achievements. The Big Wild Goose Pagoda was originally built by Emperor Gaozong of the Tang Dynasty for his mother, and its full name was "Dacien Temple". I think the meaning should be grateful to my mother and everything in the world. In my memory, Tang Gaozong was a lover. If it were not for his lover, how could he indirectly give Wu Zetian the opportunity to dominate the world? As an emperor, he was weak, but as a man, he gave freedom and trust to the woman he loved deeply. He should be a good emperor, at least much gentler than his father. The Big Wild Goose Pagoda seems to have a very special existence. You can feel a kind of tranquility just by standing under the pagoda. I remembered the scene of sweeping the tower in Journey to the West. A song once sung by the Tang Priest,"Dark clouds are pressing on the night and the sound of tower bells ringing. It is unclear which floor of the pagoda is in the dim moonlight and the light. A Zen heart mourned all the monks, and the master and disciple swept the tower with enthusiasm. Disperse the demon fog and make the world clear, and exchange for clear skies." The breeze urged the tower bell, making it desolate and silent. It is like an old man in history, standing tall and gazing at the sorrows and joys of the world. Every time I come here, I like to stand here for a while. Perhaps I have too many worries that I use this place as a sustenance. I remembered that when I was a child, maybe I was fated with Buddha. When I was a child, I was placed in foster care in someone else's home. I often followed my mother-in-law to the Manshu Hospital in Chengdu to exchange fruits for peanuts on the table. At that time, an old monk touched my head and handed me an apple. Being able to think of my childhood here is also a kind of happiness and a peaceful summary of real life.

Crossing the temple gate, it seems to be isolated from the world. Go through the corridor to see the mountains and rivers that Xuanzang once walked through. When it rains, you can stand on the courtyard corridor and listen to the pattering, as if someone is quietly telling the past. I raised my head and looked at the square sky. Unlike the Forbidden City, it was not a constraint, but a blue with tension. That was the light of hope after thousands of dangers. If you are lucky enough, you can still hear the monk preaching in the temple next door. Buddhist scriptures are profound and unpredictable, just as we have been struggling with the cause and effect of previous lives and this life. Some people say that if you read Buddhist scriptures, you will be detached. I want to read, but I'm afraid of reading. Anyway, I'd better be half awake and half drunk.

Coming out of Dacien Temple, you are facing the Tang Dynasty Sleepless City. At night, there were many people and it was very lively. It is very beautiful here. This beauty is different from natural scenery, but a popular gathering. There is a night market on the east street and a scene like cattle and sheep on the west street. People are close to people, but they don't seem noisy. There are many shops selling handicrafts on the street, including palace fans, clay carvings, and Han costumes. They are full of exquisite scenery and are overwhelmed. I especially like palace fans. I remember I bought one in Beijing. I like the feeling of being quiet and the breeze blowing my face. I don't have any special feelings about the Tang Dynasty Sleepless City, but I have only seen other people's aerial photos. Under the lights, it is very beautiful and shocking. Being in it, there was no longer that excitement.

The streets of Xi'an are simple, even a little simple, a bit like Chengdu in the 1990s. I also found a bicycle repair shop. In those days in Xi'an, we walked almost all. We like to measure a city with our footsteps. I still remember that it was raining that day. We were walking on the streets of Xi'an and passing by the Shaanxi Province People's Government Building. I seemed to have the illusion that we were back in the 1980s? The solemn building, simple style, and gray and yellow bricks seem to tell us the story of the past. I have an image of Xi'an through the novel The Ordinary World. The provincial capital is Xi'an, and Huang Yuan is Yan 'an. I should wear a white shirt and plaid skirt, grab a glass bottle of soda, and sit on the street. A girl from the 1980s is suitable for the scene. Unfortunately, I did not see such a vibrant era with my own eyes. The youth of our fathers is only left in the photos. We went to find Zhen Gao, the most popular rumored Zhen Gao, and passed a dilapidated community with a red brick building that should have been the unit's dormitory in the 1980s. If I could get this room at that time, I would have no burden of getting married and having children. Now, on the dim stairs and mottled exterior walls, a song of aging is sung everywhere. In Hui Street, there are noisy hawking sounds, bustling tourists, and the aroma of food and fireworks. Perhaps this is the meaning of life. Summer nights, barbecue, ice peaks, big kilns, malatang, everything can evoke the happiest notes in my heart. What I like most is the taste of the cabin, which is the sweetness of summer. As long as the cabin is in place and the noodles are added, it will be great. Perhaps this is where the soul is lingering. Some time ago, the news said that the ice peak probably cannot leave Xi'an, just like the Arctic Ocean. It is a memory of a place. Why care about whether it can be recognized by the whole world? Perhaps, there are some people and some things that can only exist in our own hearts. If you are happy, it doesn't matter whether others applaud. The street behind the bell tower should carry many stories of the old Xi'an people. Summer is hot, and the hot sun shines through the mottled branches and shines on the road. Everything is like when I was a child. When I rode by, I remembered the crisp bicycle bell in my ears. The child laughed and ran past us, leaving time behind. I especially like this summer. It's hot but lively. I remember when I was a child in the summer, what I looked forward to most was for my parents to get off work and bring back big watermelons. When I watched "Bao Qingtian" together at night, it was happiness, the simplest happiness in the world. I think what Xi'an can give me is the feeling of being able to turn back in time.

Have you been to the city wall under the sunset in the evening? When you come to Xi'an, you must visit the city wall. The time when the city wall is most beautiful is when the sun is setting and the sky is getting darker. The lanterns on the city wall are all lit up, like a guide to travel through time and space, combining modern and ancient times. We can't imagine how prosperous this place was thousands of years ago, but when the lanterns first came on, we could see the precipitation of history everywhere. The evening breeze blows, which is a little hot, but it is also refreshing. Touch the dilapidated bricks and stones. The uneven feeling is like a silent song that can only be felt with your hands. When I approached these bricks and stones that had been for thousands of years, the wind passed by my ears, and I seemed to hear the cries of thousands of troops, the sound of hooves, and the shouts of soldiers in the past. I could only reproduce the scenes at that time through film and television works. Perhaps this is the happiness that history has given us. We can only imagine it but cannot experience it again. Everything is regrettable, and everything is natural. You asked me, standing on the city wall, what was I thinking? I don't seem to think about anything. I just want to empty myself at this moment and let my soul drift with history. At the beginning of 2018, Douyin was full of "Xi'an people's songs." When I really saw Xi'an Railway Station above the city wall, I realized that the lyrics were true,"Under the city wall are Xi'an people's trains." The city is our life, and outside the city is the hope of a group of people.

The deepest shock to me in Xi'an lies not in the delicious food, nor in the scenery, but in the history and culture of thousands of years. My heart was deeply touched in Shaanxi Libo. I've always wanted to go to the Shaanxi History Museum. I've always wanted to see those cultural relics. I didn't make an appointment a few times before. This time I got what I wanted. The main building of Shaanxi Libo is different from the museums in other cities, which is a bit of gossip. I like watching feng shui very much, but I don't know much about it. When I walk into Shaanxi Libo, I can still feel that this layout must have profound meaning. Shaanxi Libo is divided into several pavilions. When many people visit, they will give up because the admission fee for the last mural museum is too high, but I would like to say that this is the place where you can feel shocked. When you see all kinds of cultural relics unearthed from the cellar, you can only lament the wisdom of the ancients, the wind and frost of thousands of years, and why you did not live in that era. Beast head agate cup, jade bracelet, all kinds of national treasures, people are overwhelmed. I can't evaluate them one by one. I can only sigh that all things are rare and precious. Every treasure has a story, and I wonder whether a cultural relic will be found when walking around Xi'an in the 1970s and 1980s. Of course it was just a joke, but it really shocked me and sighed. I am a person who likes ancient culture very much. When I was a child, others liked Cinderella and Snow White, but I liked to comb the doll's hair in a bun and put my mother's brooch or earrings on it as a hairpin. Even I fantasize that I can have these exquisite jewelry and costumes. Today, when I see these treasures, I feel happy and have a feeling that my dream has come true. I thought it was time travel, but it was too early. In the Datang mural exhibition hall, that is the real time tunnel. When I was a child, I read a comic book, you Sulan's "pour the country to complain". The Guangguo princess of the Tang Dynasty had superpowers and was regarded by the emperor as ominous. later, she was killed and saved by the bodyguards. Walking between these murals, this story has always appeared in my mind. On the road of time and space, you saw the figure of Princess Guang passing us. She sighed deeply, as if sighing that the palace was so big, but it was her shackles. Only he gave her the sunshine and hope of life. In the dark, there will always be light that illuminates us. "my hometown is three thousand miles away from my brothers and parents. Twenty years of claustrophobia in the deep palace is like a parrot in a cage. I can't help thinking about my background when I listen to Ho Man Zi's music, and how hard you made me suffer when I burst into tears in front of you." I think, the deep palace is not what I envy, too lonely, too lonely, people are most afraid of being lonely, the soul does not resonate, that is the greatest sorrow. No matter how beautiful you are, if you do not get the favor of the emperor, the beauty has not attenuated the favor but has been cut off, waiting for you, is the endless abyss. Shaanxi Libo shows not so much cultural relics as stories and fragments of life. When Mrs. Xin Chu was unearthed, we all admired how much Prime Minister Li Cang doted on her and buried so many rare treasures after her death, but who would have thought that women in ancient times did not have any status to speak of, and her favor was just fleeting. Only treasures can be talked about for comfort. Walking in Shaanxi Libo, I can think of a lot, but the other kind of emotion in my heart has been there all the time, inexplicable, and unclear. Is it regret, or continue to think, I can not tell. It was the second time in my life experience to visit a museum for a few hours. The first time was in the Imperial Palace Museum, when I was too young, I could not remember clearly, and it was a pity that I went to Beijing again, but I didn't have time to go there again. Maybe this is life. When you think it is very simple things, it is easy to see people, because of time or other reasons become complicated, can no longer see each other. I began to know something about the murals in the graveway, which began with a TV series. I remember it was called "Cemetery Road". Very ordinary actors, very attractive plot, about how to steal cultural relics, how to rob tombs again and again. The mural cannot be transported as a whole, but it can be translated with superb technology, and there is a technology called extension, which may be the case. I like archaeology very much, and I also like to study it very much. It is very interesting to delve into an object or a period of history with a state of mind. At that moment, time stands still. Perhaps the most abundant time is not in the material, but in whether what you like or adhere to can make your heart rich and colorful. I am reluctant to come out of Shaanxi Libo, I do not know why, it seems that once far away, I will go back to reality. In particular, I would like to continue to look at these pleasant objects, which carry a heavy, more thought-provoking story than the Terracotta Warriors. The exhibition of Shaanxi Libo is the evolution of China for thousands of years, from the Western Zhou Dynasty to the Tang Dynasty, lagging behind to its peak, the origin and development of mankind, through the silent interpretation of a piece of objects, it is too wonderful.

When I come to Xi'an again, I no longer linger in the Terracotta Warriors or Huaqing Pond. I just want to feel the purity of a city. Some people say that travel is turning a place where others are tired of staying into your own paradise. When people in Xi'an told me that Chengdu was good, I felt that this was my state of mind. Inside the city wall, there are fireworks in the streets, and outside the city wall, high-tech industries are developing rapidly. Perhaps only Xi'an is a city that combines history and modernity so harmoniously.

I am a person who doesn't have much research on food. I seldom run around for good food, and I seldom cook a dish carefully. But I would like to talk about my views on Xi'an cuisine. When I came to Xi'an for the first time, I was in a hurry. The only memory of Pita Bread Soaked in Lamb Soup was those delicious slices of mutton. I said to myself, the food in Xi'an is nothing more than that. When I went to Xi'an last year, I found that carbohydrates can make people happy. Pita Bread Soaked in Lamb Soup still didn't interest me, but the mutton in the basin opened my taste buds. Delicious soup, fat and tender mutton, soft and hard fit, plus crescent bun, delicious spicy seeds, the calm of the soup, the smell of meat, the beauty of the soup, full of my imagination. Hot soup can make people's stomach warm, not greasy, this taste is different from the mutton soup I ate since childhood, there is no smell, only fragrance. If you add a barbecue, it's exactly what heaven feels like. I like barbecue. Chengdu's barbecue is more vegetables, meat has become a supporting role. I remember when I was in junior high school, my family always rented good TV shows on weekends, bought a barbecue, mixed a bowl of lotus root flour, and the family sat in front of the TV. And the delicious food is not the barbecue, but the unforgettable atmosphere. The protagonists of Xi'an barbecue are meat, beef, mutton, tendons, liver, waist and so on. There are very few vegetables, only potatoes. The weight is small, but it is really fragrant. After the charcoal is roasted, it will be brushed with sauce, accompanied by a bottle of Bingfeng, or a bowl of sweet eight-treasure porridge, and this night will become eternal. The meat is very fresh and tender, and when it melts into the mouth, the taste will burst out in the mouth, which is different from the dry and spicy barbecue in Chengdu. It is this taste that makes me review and summarize the cuisine in Chengdu. The delicacies of Chengdu lie in the taste, but pay too little attention to the ingredients themselves. But Xi'an focuses on the ingredients itself, because the meat is very fresh and tender, so the taste becomes the second place. You first feel the beauty of the material itself, so no matter how you eat it, it is delicious. The original soup will have the original food. For a person who does not eat staple food for a long time or seldom eats a lot of meat, he becomes happy without meat when he comes to Xi'an. I think it must be the ingredients themselves that attract me. I will walk through the winding streets to find a casserole with a history of several decades. Not rice noodles in casseroles, but casseroles, with balls, fish, quail eggs, vegetable leaves, bean skins, and spicy dipping dishes, which is very refreshing and delicious. Perhaps the character of northerners, in terms of dishes, there are not many tricks, this sentence reminds me of what I once said in Chongqing, when eating spicy chicken, the plate is full of chili peppers, chicken needs to be carefully selected, although delicious, but eat a little hard. In my father's words, I found meat in the seasoning and ate a plate of fried pepper. I have to say, Lao Xiao is a very smart person, summed up in place. The casserole itself is a very simple dish, but it is difficult for everyone to like it. Chili has its own fragrance, so it attracts us to taste it again and again. The fried beef balls are very playful and chewy. It's incredible that I can use them as snacks. In Xi'an, we also like noodles. Aiye belt noodles is one of my favorite flavors. Noodles are very tough, the seasoning is very simple, there are yellow flowers, fungus, eggs, vegetables, if in winter, warm to eat a bowl, really beautiful. Meat in bun and spicy soup are all common delicacies, which we seldom mention. Almost all the delicacies in the north are staple foods. I've been thinking, why don't you get fat? Later, when I looked at the ranking of steps, I found that I consumed these calories in the amount of exercise I did every day. "A cup of soup cake is messy with silver thread, and Artemisia annua is like a jade hairpin." Maybe it is, delicious, not in the taste, but in the mood and the ingredients themselves. The taste of the world is Qinghuan.

I have a dream. I wanted to see the Big Wild Goose Pagoda under the snow, but at the end of the year, the epidemic hit, and this dream became a fantasy. I really want to go to Xi'an again, but this year it has become an out of reach. Because of the epidemic, we once thought the distance of a ticket has become tens of millions of miles. I wrote down my feelings about Xi'an with a pen. I was worried that in the long run, I would forget something. What is forgotten is not the thing itself, but the feeling. Next time, I will go to the Tang Dynasty Furong Garden, I will go to the Big Wild Goose Pagoda, and there are many streets and alleys, but which time will it be next?